overheard in 4th period

"how many idiots does it take to turn on a cd player?...*ouch*...well, it takes just one to cut himself."

the previous statement occured during 4th period, while four of my boys were trying to get my cd player tuned to an actual channel, as opposed to static with a few hints of country music. it was said by little pat, also known as shane, as he accidentally stabbed himself in the hand with what was left of the antenna after someone last year broke off the top half. they then proceeded to make me a new antenna out of scissors, three paper clips, and some scotch tape. said antenna remained upright via the scissors stabbed into my bulletin board. this activity occurred immediately following them hanging my rubber chicken from my overhead projector screen (and when i mean hanging, i mean execution-style - noose and all), making the richard nixon shower head cover talk, listening for the ocean in the seashell from my desk, and playing with the barrel of monkeys hanging from the flag holder. the boys, a.k.a. skyler, shane, ted, tyler, and corey had finished their work early and decided that i needed company at my desk. so they descended upon me during the last fifteen minutes of class.

this is why they always tell you to plan enough work to last till the end of the class period.

also, i have discovered a new discipline strategy that they never tell you about in education classes. it's called: the big, scary man across the hall discipline plan. all it takes is for me to say, "do i need to go get mr. cash?" and cody of the poofy hair from third period sits down and shuts up. it's really a great resource to have.