25 April 2006

and yet it's still hilarious

online news article excerpt:

"Man, Son, Neighbor Swallowed by Cesspool"

"A 71-year-old man who went outside in the rain to pick up the Sunday newspaper plunged into a cesspool in his front yard, and his son and neighbor were sucked in when they tried to help... He said the soggy ground, soaked by two days of rain, gave way outside his Long Island home: 'I walked across the lawn, and all of a sudden I disappeared'."

the best thing about the article, though:

"It's not the first time a cesspool - a pit that collects waste from toilets and sinks - has swallowed someone in Huntington."

megs and i found this to be highly amusing.

24 April 2006

survey fun

i love these!!

1.Your name spelled backwards?
skrap nniuq arual

2. Last incoming call on your phone?

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
combat photography from the korean war

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
the little pizza place on the third floor over the deli in the square in annapolis, right down the street from the academy...best. pizza. ever.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
last semester, when i went through a random exercise kick and was swimming at 7am every morning with ian and becky.

6. Britney Spears is a skank. Agree or disagree?
agree. and i find it hilarious that she's giving up singing for an acting career.

7. How many kids do you want?
regardless of what people may think, i want about five boys. i want to be able to field a little league team (though we may need to add cousins for that...get on it, mary and carol).

8. Type of music you dislike most?
techno. it is highly annoying after about 3.2 seconds.

9. What was the last thing you bought?
macbeth for $1. and a miniature shopping cart.

10. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle?
no, despite the best efforts of the marines from last summer.

11. Does someone have a crush on you?
yes, and it's freaking me out because he makes me more infuriatingly angry than anyone else on this campus, and he's stalking me.

12. Ever made a prank phone call?

13. Listening to music?

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
absolutely not. i've read too many stories about paratroopers crashing into buildings and getting hung in trees.

15. What clothes are you wearing right now?
new khakis, red shirt that doesn't meet the top of the new khakis, and black hoodie that i had to wear zipped up all day because aforementioned red shirt and its tendency to not meet the top of the new khakis.

16. Do you have a garden?
are you kidding? i kill cactuses. from lack of water.

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
calvin and hobbes, get fuzzy, zits, and foxtrot. it is impossible to pick one.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
yes. multiple verses, in fact. my favorite is the last. (this is what happens when you are a. overly patriotic, b. in high school choir, and c. teach middle school social studies.)

19. Bath or Shower in the morning or night?
shower, night. otherwise my hair is wet for the entire day.

20. Hello or goodbye?
neither. i say "hey".

21. Favorite pizza topping
ham. well, any type of salty meat, really.

22. Chips or Popcorn?
chips. popcorn gets stuck in my teeth.

23. Favorite color?
forest green. most shades of green, actually.

24. What did your last text message you received say?
no text messaging on my phone. i'm too cheap to buy a new model.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
i've come to the conclusion that life for a modern woman is really nothing more than one gigantic beauty pageant, where the winner gets the gorgeous husband, amazing job, and huge house, while the losers get stuck working 40 hours weeks at wal-mart and living with middle aged men watching football in sweatpants and resting beer cans on their bellies.

27. Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
allan, beth, shelly, and chris of the mighty mohawk

28. What did the last text message that u sent say?
see #24

29. Lucky number?

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
i don't eat tomatos. i find them gross.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
hell, yeah. this girl was totally both the spark of the year and the guard of the year. bonus points to those of you who know what i'm talking about.

32. Are you a good cook?
ha. that's funny. my family still makes fun of me for the Tuna Casserole Incident

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
people don't?

34. Do the chinese really use cats in their food?
my dad swears that he saw a chinese man in alexandria chasing a cat down the street with a meat cleaver. no lie.

35. Sprite or 7-Up?
ginger ale

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
do marching band uniforms count?

37. Last thing you ate?
vanilla ice cream mixed with an overdose of mini chocolate chips.

38. Ever thrown up in public?
no, thank heaven.

39. Would you rather find true love or be a millionaire?
true love. because there's no way i'm not going to be a millionaire.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
absolutely not

41. Do you wear glasses or contacts?
neither. you're looking at a girl with 20/15 vision. if i was trying to be a fighter pilot, i'd be totally set.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
honestly, i think it was luke/ryan freshman year when he popped his lung. a whole gaggle of us girls went, and when we asked for directions to his room, they sent us to the maternity ward.

43. Where were you for Valentine's day?
teaching 8th grade.

44. Last time you laughed?
probably dinner

45. What's your favorite animal?

46. What was the name of your first pet?
goldie the goldfish. my sister is not an original person. she also named the striped cat "tiger".

47.Who is the second to last person to call you?

48. Is there anything going on this weekend?
it is monday, and while the weekend is entirely too far away to contemplate now, i know on saturday i have: history praxis test, rachel's bridal shower, honk cast party, the gala. yikes.

49. How are you feeling right now?
tired, slightly stressed, and still extremely nervous about graduation.

50. Who or what do you think about the most?
graduating. and my students.

51. Who filled this survey out before you?
jessie McD

slumber party hour

so this weekend was rather unproductive for the most part. first, we had children's theatre. it went swimmingly. (literally. it was about a bunch of ducks.) i thought it was hands-down the funniest CT show. i loved the geese. ("you have copious amounts of foliage in your aviation headgear...you've got big leaves in your goggles!!!") the show was especially amusing thursday night, due to the fact that i watched it sitting behind clint, ziders, and scarps giggling. oh, how i love the buffaloes. though i have to admit that i was giggling when dan popped up out of the nest looking like an exploded pillow with big feathers sticking out of his sweater vest.

i was kind of sad friday night, because i realized it was my last mainstage show. so weird. i was getting nostalgic and thinking back through all the shows i've done here. 23 productions so far, with one more coming. that theatre has been my life. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself next year.

friday after the show shelly and i and various assorted alumni went out to kings. due to rising gas prices (and us being lazy) we went to the one by the outlets, instead of where we normally go. we decided that this was a much more upscale kings. either that, or because they didn't know us, they didn't immediately stick us in the back room. [on a side note, i just squashed a bug on my computer screen. not a good idea, for the record. it will leave a lovely streak.] as a result, i proceeded to make a complete fool of myself by laughing so hard i couldn't breathe at a message left on caitlin's cell phone by stephen, her 5+1 year old brother (thus called because, according to him, "five was a very good year", so he doesn't want to be referred to as six years old). he didn't introduce himself or say hello, just launched immediately into the captain hook song from "peter pan". this was cute, but not uproariously funny. what set me off was that he followed the song with an orc yell, which sounded like a combination of a gutteral growl, a rottweiler's bark, and a belch. i was not expecting this, and for some reason i just found it really funny. blame it on lack of sleep. so here i am, giggling uncontrollably, with caitlin smacking me to get me to breathe. i sit up from where i was doubled over, turn sideways, and send my full glass of water flying across the table into brian. this just set me off even more. the waitress came up, and everybody was just like, "ignore her. she's crazy." no, the crazy thing is that i've heard that message three other times since then, and i still laugh every time. though i've managed to not spill anymore beverages.

saturday started bright and early with set strike. it was my last one. kinda made me sad. but not really. i got my scenic stuff done, then wandered around and took a bunch of pictures. the highlight of the morning was when i looked into the set shop, and witnessed the removal of what appeared to be a giant roll of toilet paper from the loft. like, six feet long. i think it was plastic sheeting, but it looked for all intents and purposes like a huge roll of charmin. lunch involved getting free hard plastic cups from pepsi. who knows? then it was outlets time with caitlin and rainey. i got new black shoes, seeing as mary forbid me from wearing my others ever again, some khakis (yay for the dickies outlet!), macbeth for $1, shower gift for rachel, and a miniature shopping cart, complete with a fold up seat and working wheels. caitlin got one too. i don't know why we did. we just thought they were fun. they are supposed to go on a kitchen counter or something and hold fruit.

i returned to my room after dinner to find my roommate at war with a very, very large bumblebee in her closet. he had flown in through the screen-less (growl) windows and didn't want to leave any time soon. after excessive amounts of squealing, running away through rachel's room, waving pizza boxes, and swatting with a rolled-up newspaper, we sent him to his doom. "doom" happened to be my roommate and a birkenstock sandal. that set the evening off to a rather unproductive start, as evidenced by the fact that we spent three hours trying on dresses and doing trial runs of our hair for the gala. at one point, rachel was in pajamas, i was wearing dickies with my hair up in a formal style, and megan was running around in a prom dress. it was fun, though, especially since we watched sixteen candles that night. (the churro a.k.a. roommate had to for film class.) completely unrealistic, but i love it anyway.

and at dinner chris the major-general told me that i am a scorpion, because he's afraid that if he married me, i would kill him. i should have paid more attention in the third grade when my mother told me to stop beating up the boys.

21 April 2006

my current mood, as expressed by annie dillard

it is time pounding at you, time. knowing you are alive is watching on every side your generation's short time falling away as fast as rivers drop through air, and feeling it hit.

without my noticing, the drummer had upped the tempo. someone must have slipped him a signal when i wasn't looking; he'd speeded things up.

18 April 2006

take me out to the ballgame

today was beautiful. one of those days where you just want to cry at the thought of going inside. it always gets like this here in the spring. the trees and flowers are blooming, the sun is finally out for the first time in six months, and you can be outside without a parka and snow boots. it was even better because, for the first time since i've been here, i went to see a baseball game. (half an hour of it anyway. i would have stayed longer had the education office not been closing at 5.) i loved it. i honestly don't know why in the world i haven't been going since freshman year. it further reinforced to me that i adore baseball. in all its various incarnations. little league to the major leagues. i really need to go to nationals games this summer. tickets are like $10 - you can barely go to a movie for that.

i've decided that i'm going to forget trying to achieve a big impressive career.
i'm just going to marry one of the atlanta braves.

not writing study guides

i stole this from jess. i like it. i'm a history nerd, what can i say. (however the history nerd-ness does not extend to actually writing the lesson plans/study guides for my 9th grade us history class.)

Go to Wikipedia. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year). List three events that happened on your birthday. List three important birthdays and three interesting deaths. Post this in your journal.

1) 1454 - In the Thirteen Years' War, the Secret Council of the Prussian Confederation sends a formal act of disobedience to the Grand Master. - i really have no idea who or what this was, but it sounds cool. i feel like it would involve secret decoder rings.
2) 1862 - Bacardi, one of the world's largest spirits companies, is founded as a small distillery in Santiago de Cuba in eastern Cuba. - yay rum. i find it highly amusing that this is an event deemed worthy of an encyclopedia entry.
3) 1941 - World War II: The United Service Organization (USO) is created to entertain American troops. - hooray for bob hope, saturday night dances, and old women with coffee at train stations.

and keeping with my war obsession, it is interesting to note that my birthday also marked the end of the american revolution and the founding of the confederacy.

1) 1677 - Johann Ludwig Bach, German composer - pretty decent musician
2) 1840 - Hiram Stevens Maxim, American inventor - this guy invented the machine gun and the mousetrap. quite the combination.
3) 1913 - Rosa Parks, American civil rights activist - share a birthday and a last name. also, for further amusement on this topic, see http://lauraquinn45.blogspot.com/2006/01/back-to-high-school.html

1) 211 - Septimus Severus, Emperor of Rome - being emperor is pretty cool. even if he did turn rome into a military dictatorship. and a harry potter character is named after him.
2) 1884 - Adolphe Sax, Belgian instrument maker - yeah, you guessed it. invented the saxophone.
3) 1984 - Anna Anderson, claimant to the throne of Russia - this chick said she was anastasia. did it not occur to her that even if she was anastasia, the soviet government wasn't going to care? plus, she died on my actual birthday.

17 April 2006

we need help

tonight we were at elephant & castle until they turned the lights off.
we closed down the bar.


last trip to the grove

can someone please explain why the entire state of pennsylvania is under construction??

it's like the second the weather gets warm - out come the traffic cones! i guess it just goes along with the four seasons of PA: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

14 April 2006

an update

it is now easter break, and i have hijacked my dad's computer long enough to let the world (by which i mean my friends) know what is going on in my life.

i had a wonderful time at uva, where i spent the first weekend of break. many thanks to the lovely boys of phi delta theta for letting me pretend to be a normal college student for once (and for providing untold amusement by illustrating what happens when you combine 20 college guys, 0 flashlights, and a 2 hour power outage - answer: a lot of worrying about the beer, people showering with the door open, and much navigating through the house via the light from cell phone screens). i also got to see my friend jen, who helped me survive a whole summer of bugs, sleeping in the woods, and obnoxious campers. it was great seeing her, we hadn't gotten together for a year and a half. she also took me to an awesome a cappella concert done by a group of guys on campus. i love men's a cappella, just for the record. oh how i wish we had a group at gcc. or really, any type of singing group besides the touring choir (a.k.a. one which sings secular music...and sings in english). no offense to touring choir people, but it is just not my style of music. i find it boring after about fifteen minutes. maybe this makes me a cultural buffoon, but i do not care. the point is, i listened to these guys sing for three hours, and loved every minute of it. on sunday, i hung out with one of my best friends from high school. it was soooo good to catch up with her. the last time i saw any high school friends was memorial day sophomore year. i really need to get together with them more.

the whole weekend really made me think hard about how different my life would have been had i gone to a regular school, and started to make me regret attending good ol' gcc. i mean, i love my friends and i know i've gotten a completely priceless theatre education, but was it worth all the other bullshit, sleepless nights, dumb rules, stress, and unrealistic professors? it's hard realizing that i could have done half the work, gotten twice the gpa, and had a way crazier and exciting time at a normal school. these are not good thoughts to be having a month before graduation.

it all really comes back to my friends, though. i wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

the rest of my break has mainly been spent sleeping (as in about 10 hours a day - should i feel guilty that i've been completely lazy instead of helping others on an ico? probably) and attending jv girls softball games. it's been great seeing carol play, weird seeing her on third base instead of behind home plate like she's been for the past seven years, and really strange to have someone i'm related to playing on a high school sports team. with the exception of the quad cousins, who i think recieved basically every ounce of athletic talent for the entire family (both sides), my family has not been even remotely athletic. our endeavors are basically limited to midget soccer in the second grade, and the cousin who is a competition ballroom dancer. (is that a sport?) so having a sister playing for the high school has been a change.

i've also graded a few papers, corrected a few tests. oh yeah. just so everyone is clear, genocide was the last battle of world war two, and winston churchill was the leader of the soviet union. also, we fought the japanese at d-day. not the germans. i feel like my kids have gone to the bluto blutarski school of history. at least they all knew that hitler was a bad guy. why do i even bother? i've tried to do some lesson plans ahead of time, but i realized that i left all of my materials/worksheets/etc at school (along with my job interview contact information, my placement file application, my certification application, and all of my tax paperwork - last thursday was not one of my better packing moments), so the effort has been deemed pointless.

i'm starting to get myself psyched up for graduation. i still don't want to leave people, but i'm starting to work myself in a more happy mood about the whole thing. i'll elaborate more on this later.