21 November 2007

why i love my grandma

voicemail received at 8:45 pm tuesday night

message: "this is grammer. i'm glad you're unavailable because it means you have a life."

19 November 2007

the day's accomplishments

things i did today:

1.) bought a $2000 industrial sewing machine*
2.) learned to drive an E250 cargo van on I-95**
3.) almost broke my record for "most traffic laws violated in a five minute time span" while attempting to navigate through rosslyn***

it was a rather productive day.

* i can sew leather! and rubberized fabric! and ballistic nylon!
** this vehicle has no side windows. do you realize how hard it is to merge into traffic with no side windows??
*** i don't think anything can quite beat the brilliance of turning the wrong way down a one-way street, then driving down the sidewalk, then driving across the library lawn, then pulling an illegal u-turn through oncoming traffic.

16 November 2007

quiz results

apparently if i was a disney villain, i would be lady tremaine.

interesting, since she frightened me as a small child. something about the disembodied voice rasping from behind the curtains in the dark and creepy bedroom freaked my out a little. and the demonic cat didn't help.

15 November 2007

things i am currently addicted to

1.) ritz crackers with monterey jack cheese
2.) wikipedia
3.) friends reruns
4.) shisen
5.) josh turner

14 November 2007

i feel like mr. heckles

Dear LovesHisStereoMan,

It is 12:30 am. I'm sure you have to go to work tomorrow. Even if you don't, I'm sure you have many important things to do. So turn off the music. Go to bed. And let the rest of us in Building 32 get some sleep.


further explanation

i guess i should point out that my grandfather didn't actually buy peanut. he just showed up in the yard one day a little while ago and never really left. it's still funny though. especially since now peanut has his own little bitty doghouse beside the back door, and follows my grandfather everywhere he goes in the yard.

09 November 2007

never would have thought

apparently my grandfather has a new dog. my 82-year old, Marine sergeant, okinawa surviving, highway construction supervising, cattle raising, crop growing, bush-whacking, pith helmet wearing, cnn watching, very southern grandfather has a new dog. but not his normal type of dog. not a german shepherd or collie. oh, no.

a chihuahua.

named peanut.


she's nuts

eirelady: i was talking to the people in quebec because we're ordering stuff from them for work
eirelady: and they answer the phone in french
eirelady: and then get all snooty when you tell them you only speak english
spacegirl: you should have been like, HOLA!!!!
spacegirl: COMO ESTAS!!!!

07 November 2007

grocery store music

as i write this, i am on hold with the District of Columbia Office of Tax and Revenue. talk about a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky bunch. they told me my estimated wait time was five minutes. yeah, right. does anybody really believe that? i may never return to civilization.

my question is: why do customer service centers always, always, always play the same cd of easy listening jazz, saxophone with piano synthesized in the background, kenny g on muzak while you are on hold?* it's the exact same music they play in the grocery store and as the background music between scenes on late 80s/early 90s sitcoms. does anybody actually listen to that stuff in real life? so why do they think we want to listen to it while we're waiting for somebody to put down their candy bar, turn down the tv, and pick up the phone to answer whatever question is so important that we've given up trying to figure it out on our own and have actually dared to call customer service? i mean, we've already endured fifteen minutes of pressing three, pressing the pound sign, and pressing three again. or even better, trying to speak clearly enough that the computer system understands what you are saying. the least they could do is play music that doesn't make you want to scratch your eyeballs out. especially when they shuffle you from person to person for another fifteen minutes, putting you on hold again each time.

* the one exception to this is customer service at navy federal credit union. they play john phillip sousa marches. you call them and you get a rousing chorus of "the stars and stripes forever".

01 November 2007

adventures in cooking

why is it that i never start cooking anything before 9pm? and seeing as how it takes me three times longer than any normal person to cook, i usually get done, oh, around 1am. i'm so weird.

also, going along with aforementioned weirdness, my body has apparently decided that it is not going to accept more than four hours of sleep a night. so if i go to bed before 2am, i wake up at 4:00 and can't go back to sleep until 6:00. i have no idea why i keep doing this, but it's really annoying.