28 February 2007

a note on bob

i want to talk about the current highlight of my week. but first...

let me take a moment to tell you about bob. bob is my boss. bob is the head of the social studies department. bob has been teaching here for thirty-five years. bob is an intellectual elitist with political beliefs that would fit in well with the hippie movement. bob teaches psychology, debate, and current affairs. bob is an amazing teacher. bob is from ohio. bob is very mellow. bob says everything in a dry, sarcastic manner. bob is one of the funniest people i know.

bob is also unaware that it is no longer 1982.

walking into his classroom is like taking a trip in a time machine. when we study life during the 80s, i tell my students to go walk through bob's classroom. he has the only room with yellow walls, because he has refused to allow the school to paint them. he still has the same bright orange shag carpeting patched with duct tape that he had when he taught my parents in the seventies. he is in possession of the only remaining set of wooden desks, which are covered in carvings drawn twenty-five years ago. the walls are papered in advertisements from magazines that were published during the reagan administration. everywhere you look you see pictures of linebacker shoulder pads, crown victorias, and dynasty clothes. the textbook he uses doesn't have the last state test history goal, because the events which are covered by the last goal hadn't occured yet when it was published. and the last goal starts with richard nixon. his bookshelf is still decorated with mondale/ferraro bumper stickers. every morning the social studies hall hears the sounds of 70s rock and folk music drifting down the hallway.

which brings us to the highlight of the week. this morning, as i was rushing to copy western settlement charts, what did i hear blasting from his 1987 new yorker cartoon-emblazoned doorway? "i believe in a thing called love" by the darkness.

and it made me happy.

27 February 2007

i think we may need a spelling bee

susie b, this one's for you...

what happens when the answer on the test involves the word "massachusetts":


how am i supposed to react to this?

robert: "will you marry me?"
me: "no."
robert: "what if i ask again?"
me: "no."
robert: "why not?"
michael: "it's probably because after you graduate, you're going to sell yourself to prostitution."
me: ...*slams head down on desk*...

21 February 2007

beginning of spring

spring is officially here!

from my inbox:

"scrimmage today..... so if you park behind the gym beware of flying baseballs"

(and i'm not sure why, but something about that made me laugh.)

20 February 2007

overheard in 4th period...

...personal anecdotes involving possum bites, and a debate on the merits of coon jerkey v. fried coon meat.

apparently the latter is much more greasy.

it should not surprise me that this involved the student who's claim to fame is that he can drive a three speed on the column. ("that's a rare skill to have.")

19 February 2007


it seems like everybody and their cousin is getting engaged. but seeing as the most recent pair consists of two of my favorite people, that's not a bad thing. it's just making it difficult for me to keep track.

15 February 2007

how i spent my valentine's day

work, two hours at the gym, and watching documentaries about the mafia on the history channel with my grandpa.

am i a party animal, or what?

(on a side note, the gym is a depressing place during the evening on valentine's day. it's like everybody there is upset because they wish they were out at some expensive restaurant drinking champagne and talking about love and commitment and other fun things like that. it made me want to wear a t-shirt that said, "i'm not bitter and lonely, i promise!")

12 February 2007

hooray for me!

i filed my tax return!!


this euphoria has a direct correlation to the fact that i mailed it 3.5 weeks late last year.

how sad is it that this is the most exciting thing going on in my life. that, and i finished the quilt i've been working on for two years.

(good grief. i've gone from college senior to AARP member in six months. sheesh.)

08 February 2007

You Know You Live in the South: Reason #63

you know you live in the south when the organizations advertised on the plethora of dirty baseball caps worn in your classroom include, but are not limited to, the following:

John Deere
Dixie Outfitters
the Georgia Bulldogs

and my personal favorite...

Hunter Hound Supply, Inc (i've seen several of these)