16 December 2009

on the sixteenth day of christmas...

i can't put into words how glad i am to be done with this semester of grad school.

or how much i love my christmas tree.

i wish i could...

my status message: "now taking bets on how many times i hear, 'have you graded our tests yet?' today."

dave's response: "say, 'yes, and you failed. merry christmas!'"

04 December 2009

7th period study hall. friday. 3:05 pm.

matt launched a dry board eraser across the room with a rubber band and a yardstick which jake hit back baseball-style using a metal rod he took out of the filing cabinet, which then bounced off the overhead projector and hit ben (who was sleeping) in the head.

my life is turning into a sitcom.

22 November 2009

and this is the AP class...

me: "the oneida community failed, but their silver production continued and turned into the oneida company that still makes silverware."
brian: "i thought they made frozen french fries."
jimmy: "that's ore ida, moron."

15 November 2009

the joys of apartment living, the trilogy

really, upstairs neighbors?? really??!?

electric bass. amp. midnight.


14 November 2009

junior class officer meeting

me: "since there aren't very many of you, do we want to have a prom this year?"
john: "why don't we just crash the prom at the public high school? there's more girls and we won't have to pay for it."

10 November 2009

the joys of apartment living, part deux

the upstairs neighbors have acquired a drum set.


02 November 2009

the joys of apartment living

i'm pretty sure the concorde is trying to take off from the upstairs neighbor's kitchen...

30 October 2009

quotes of the day...

[while looking at a map of alaska] "wait!! there's ROADS up there!!?!"

sarah: "who is james dean?"
andy: "he's the guy that makes those little sausages."
me: "no, that's jimmy dean"


there is a giant whoopie cushion, a gorilla, and a 6 foot m&m playing cards in my classroom.

i love halloween.

23 October 2009

tales from friday afternoon study hall

two of my seniors have finished their homework and are reading during study hall.

one is reading about the principles of astrophysics.
the other is reading "hop on pop".

and they are both reading sections out loud, simultaneously.

chris: "did you know that if all the matter in the universe were compressed to one infintesimal point, the density would be 1 x 10^72 tons per cubic inch?"
sydney: "mr. brown. mrs. brown. mr. brown is upside down. pup up. brown down. pup is down. where is brown?"

oh, kids...

22 October 2009


a hamster in a ball showed up to my first period class today.

a hamster.

07 October 2009

a brief analysis

why i hate my job: i don't get to take sick days
why i dislike my job: kids who can't stop talking
why i like my job: kids who make me laugh
why i love my job: i can stay an extra 45 minutes after class, go to the grocery store after work, and still make it home by 5

22 September 2009

why i'm glad i wasn't in charge of the boys during the high school reatreat...

[in front of the boys' cabin after lights out]

me: "how are things going over here?"
male chaperone: "well...this side of the cabin is beating each other up and that side of the cabin is making each other drink out of the toilet. so yeah, we're doing great."

14 September 2009

my life is a study in sleep deprivation

real life is back in full swing and i'm starting to remember why i became a hermit last year.

my summer at the museum was amazing; i really didn't want to come back. but so far the school year is off to a fairly uneventful start. teaching two AP classes plus three other classes is a TON of work, but hasn't gotten overwhelming. it helps that i have everything done for my standard level u.s. history and u.s. government classes.

grad school is going way better this semester than in the past. i'm taking museum studies, which has been a fantastic class so far, and reconstruction, which isn't my favorite time period, but the professor is awesome. there isn't going to be a ridiculous amount of work - no major research paper involving thirty sources from five different college libraries!! - just a ridiculous amount of reading. no one should EVER be allowed to write a 700 page history monograph, particularly not about the reconstruction. but, most exciting thing of the semester, i figured out that the faculty parking lots right next to my building open to general permits at 6, meaning that i don't have to walk twenty minutes to get to my car. amazing!!

this week should be a whirlwind of craziness. i'm going on the high school retreat with my kids from wednesday - friday, and then to the retreat with my church from friday - sunday. and before that happens, i need to plan three days worth of lessons, read two books, and finish my AP u.s. history syllabus. sigh...adulthood is really overrated sometimes...

30 August 2009

back to school...

pete: "how was your summer?"
me: "good, but not long enough."
ben: "mine was! i'm ready to come back to school so i can bother people!!"


08 July 2009

carpe noctem

how to tell if you stay up too late:

you live on the east coast and you see status messages informing you that your friends on the west coast are going to bed.

19 June 2009


brownie and a cookie for breakfast. super wicked awesome or mind-numbingly pathetic?

17 June 2009

it's like driving a sherman tank

i am in north carolina for the week. i was given the duty of bringing my grandma home after carol's graduation and staying with her until saturday, when i'll drive her to the beach. tomorrow i'm driving my grandfather to visit his sister. two hours away. on curvy mountain roads.

in a 1989 crown victoria.

and then on the way home, he wants to visit the cheese factory where you get to see how they make cheese.

my life is so bizarre.

10 June 2009

in which we enter the world of resume exaggeration

began my museum internship today. learned a few things.

checking bug traps = pest control monitoring
putting out humidity/temperature monitors = launching the climate control notification system

should be an interesting summer...

09 June 2009

smart boy

online conversation between my sister and her boyfriend after he spent the weekend with her at our parents' house:

cameron: "i was pondering on the way home that you have one of the most intimidating sets of parents on the face of the earth"
mary: "daddy's not too bad"
cameron: "until you realize he knows every possible way to kill you"
cameron: "and the means to do so"

and how to hide the body, too, bucko...

[fortunately, we all like cameron (despite the fact that our grandmother threatened to beat him up if he didn't let her buy him lunch), so the potential for his elimination is fairly slim.]

08 June 2009


my goal for the evening: grade spanish tests.
the problem with this: i don't speak spanish.

welcome to my life...

06 June 2009

from my sister

"i successfully finished high school. i went home. and i took a nap.
carpe diem."

me too, carol. me too.

hooray for not having to teach another class until september!!!

27 May 2009


i just ran a 5k.
on hills.
without walking.

in 29 minutes and 45 seconds.

which was the goal i was trying to reach before my race on sunday. yes!!

25 May 2009

virtutis gloria merces

war is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. the person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. [john stewart mill]

for love of country, they accepted death. [james a. garfield]

uncommon valor was a common virtue. [adm. chester w. nimitz]

06 May 2009

you would think i taught remedial kindergarten, not 11th grade...

"umm...miss p?"

"yes, andrew?"

"i swallowed a marble."

(and yes, he really does call me miss p.)

05 May 2009

end of the semester

i am now officially halfway done with my masters degree. i don't have to go back to grad school for four more months!! which means...

i have my life back!

30 April 2009

u.s. government field trip to d.c.

tour guide: "the statue on the capitol dome is named 'freedom'."
gabriel: "why is freedom an indian with a bird on her head?"

29 April 2009

they really are cocky little buggers, aren't they?

"do you want to go to prom with me??"
"no, tyler."
"why not? we're close to the same age."
"not close enough to be even remotely appropriate, tyler."

21 April 2009

all my life philosophies come from comic strips

new favorite comic strip quote, courtesy of meredith:

"and what manner of nitwittery is about to plague me on the morrow?!"

this pretty much sums up my entire attitude about my job...and the world in general, really.

15 March 2009

it's going to be a long night...

i am supposed to be spending my evening researching information for my military history conference paper about the marginalization of the southern theater of the revolutionary war within the dominant historical narrative.

so far, the only thing i've found out is that the busiest walmart in the world is located in rapid city, south dakota.

welcome to the procrastination center of the universe!

12 March 2009

eighth grade moments

me: "this is like being in charge of baboons."
jake: "hey, that's not a nice animal to compare me to."
chris: "it's not an animal, it's a tree."
jake: "that's bamboo, you idiot!! and it's not a tree!"

09 March 2009

i love wikipedia

there is a wikipedia article entitled "pointy hat". it chronicles the uses of pointy hats throughout human history.


04 March 2009

everyone should spend time with 15 year olds

me: "what was up with russia in world war one?"
caleb: "funny accents...and fuzzy hats."

03 March 2009

i am a dork

so after writing the title of the last post, i got curious and looked it up.

they are the 15th of march.

the ides, which the romans considered to be the day of the full moon, are the 15th of march, may, july, and october, and the 13th of every other month.

hooray wikipedia!

what are the ides of march anyway?

"what are they doing at valley forge? most are freezing their asses off and complaining about the food, but they're also drilling. then there's the militia, who get together twice a year to drink. they're like a softball team." [my always entertaining military history professor]

oh, march. how we love your schizophrenic weather. a few weeks ago, the temperatures were in the 60s. today i didn't have to go to work because of the snow. (i don't have to go tomorrow either, but that's just because the parking lot is iced over and the county won't clear it. i've been doing the happy dance since i found out.)

life is going swimmingly, albeit extremely busily. classes are in full swing. i like both of them better than the ones i took last semester, although the people in my thursday night class take themselves way too seriously. my monday people (origins of the u.s. military) are a bunch of military guys, military brats, and military wives, so it's a fairly laid-back and snarky crowd, and i love them. i've realized that i actually like being in class once i'm there, i just hate going. leaving at 7am and not getting home until 10:30pm is a long, long day.

i'm trying to get my summer internship figured out. i was going to do one for 6 credits, but then i found out it's 360 hours of work, leaving me zero time for a break this summer. so i'm going to do the less stressful 180 hours and take another 3 hour class. i really don't want to take another class, but i'm going to need a break. plus, i actually want to be able to go to the beach.

work is good. the kids continue to be unintentionally hilarious. my classroom is still barely controlled chaos most of the time. but i actually prefer it that way. they make me nervous when they're quiet. i'm also teaching spanish III now. ironic, since i don't actually speak spanish anymore. they're doing a computer program, and my main function is to make sure they aren't checking their email or playing minesweeper. but it's just funny to say that i'm the spanish teacher.

i'm now going to be completely irresponsible by making some popcorn and starting the second half of "return of the king" at 12:15am.

04 February 2009

happy birthday to me

why is it that 25 seems way, way older than 24?

02 February 2009

why i don't like teaching world history

eirelady: it is impossible to make late 19th century russian industrialization interesting
eirelady: agree?
cptmannix: yes, because russian industrialization isn't interesting until the early 20th century when it involves stalin and death camps
cptmannix: don't tell me you're caught in that period of history post-reconstruction, pre world war i...
cptmannix: that period of history sucks

28 January 2009

cold weather

there are three people living in this apartment. there are 22 coats in our closet.

16 of them belong to me.

this should probably tell me something about my ability to acclimate to cold weather. why do i not live in bermuda?

14 January 2009

news headline of the day

courtesy of the BBC:

"Russia: Ukraine is blocking Europe's gas."

maybe this means i'm still in middle school, but that made me laugh out loud in the middle of 8th period study hall.

welcome back

one of my juniors melted crayons into the radiator in my classroom.

not on. into.

i love my job, i love my job, i love my job, i love my job...