words of wisdom

a few words of wisdom from my sister, given in a series of emails written in response to my ever increasing state of panic due to the beginning of school:

"you didn't get a normal job like a normal person, because then you would not have been able to interact with a kid named tater or coondog on a regular basis. you'll be fine. at least y'all won't have a crazy murderer man running loose at the school on your first day. hopefully."

"don't be nervous about friday. that's silly, you will be nervous, it's very scary, but you will be Fabulous (with a capital F!)."

and my personal favorite...

"think of all the morons you had as teachers in high school. compared to them, you should be the Teacher of the Century. at least consider this an opportunity to spread conservatism in a sea of liberal weenies. think, these kids may never hear again that the u.s. was justified in bombing hiroshima. you're doing a valuable service for your country."

i should probably listen to her more often. and her first bit of advice sounds rather far-fetched, except for the fact that she goes to virginia tech and they really did have a crazy murderer man running loose on the first day of classes.


so i guess i'm due for an update. as you can tell, i start school tomorrow. i'm not quite as panicked as i thought i would be. i have my syllabus, attendance sheets, student surveys, parent letters, and first day activities all typed up, copied, and hole punched. i understand the attendance and discipline referral policies. i have enough desks. there are history related posters on the walls. the textbooks are stacked neatly. there are no piles of trash anywhere. and i have a bulletin board containing nothing but THE richard nixon shower head cover. (i will eventually get around to putting other things up on that board, but not now.) all i really have to do is rearrange my desks a little and make a seating chart and i will be good to go. my mentor told me that of all the people she has mentored, i am by far the most organized and most prepared. (they call it organized, the american psychiatric association calls it obsessive-compulsive disorder. i simply can not function without lists or charts.)

i'm still fairly scared though. i mean, i'm completely in charge of this whole shindig, and if i screw it up, it's going to be bad. it doesn't help that my classes are huge. my smallest class has 28; the other two have 30. what am i supposed to do with 30 sixteen-year-olds for an hour and a half every day? and they keep adding people. it also doesn't help that one of the other teachers seems to think it is his life goal to squelch any optimism i may show. that really makes it hard, because i get depressed every time he walks in here. it makes me feel like my students will never turn in work, never pass their tests, never bring their books, never pay attention, and never stop talking when i want them to. i feel like i can handle everything, then he shows up and i just want to crawl under a rock. i finally reached the end of my rope with it today. i said, "look, i'll be honest. i'm a bitch. they may not like me, they may not like history. but they will turn in their work. and they will do what i say. or they will fail my class." i feel like there needs to be a rule: if you can't say something positive to new teachers, keep your trap shut.

there is some good news, though. my mentor is great. she's getting me a desk chair and a podium. it's so ironic. i come all the way to north carolina, and i get a mentor who is from pittsburgh, spent a year at westminster, graduated from pitt, and got her masters from duquesne. we have a sort-of mini steelers fan club going, along with the guy who teaches tv production. i've also met two younger teachers, jennifer and kellie, who i love. it was really nice to realize that i wouldn't just be surrounded by married people with children. jennifer is in the room next to me, so i figure we'll be seeing a lot of each other.

so yeah, overall, my life's looking pretty good right now.