future children

recently the suite has been amusing its collective self (minus jenny) with projections on the personalities of our future children. they are as follows:

rachel - rachel's first born child will be miles-kimball. miles-kimball will attend georgetown preparatory academy (where all students must wear charcoal trousers and be well-groomed), speak with a simultaneous lisp and stutter, suffer from a severe wheat allergy, and is plaugued by extreme asthma attacks triggered by things which he finds frightening. he has a tendency to strike out at t-ball, wears suspenders with a belt, and dreams of the day when he can join the high school chess team. he hopes to pursue a career in chemical engineering, but his mother insists he will attend an ivy league institution where he will receive a strong liberal arts education.

megan - megan will be the mother of carter. carter strongly resembles a member of a boy band of the late-90s variety, complete with spiky hair, blonde highlights, too-tight jeans, flip flops, and a shell necklace. he will never set foot out of the house without at least one article of clothing from abercrombie & fitch (which, his mother informs us, will not be purchased by her). he has aspirations of breaking into the pop industry, and spends his time singing karaoke, practicing with his "band" in the basement, and attempting to land modeling jobs. carter's behavior is not condoned by miles-kimball.

laura - laura will have a set of fraternal twins, jackson and beauregard. the boys will be avid civil war reenactors, being members of a cavalry unit known for its extreme historical accuracy in uniforms and weapons. jackson, the more studious of the two, spends his free time researching the history of georgia, models himself after true southern gentlemen, and gets very annoyed when his brother tries to call him "jack". beau, on the other hand, prefers to spend his time hunting and skeet shooting, and has a slight obsession with the dukes of hazzard. beau once got in trouble for bringing a bb gun to the 2nd grade. beau frightens miles-kimball.