some quotes

exhibits A - G on why i find family gatherings amusing:

aunt frances: "it's a Yankee Candle"
charlie: "is that a candle that comes down here and stays?"
aunt lubie: "no, that would be a damn yankee candle."

charlie: "'yay, socks' doesn't sound too sincere."

my grandmother: "don't make fun of your mama, or the boogerman will get you. that's one of the commandments."

ashley: "yay, sweater."
charlie: "that goes along with the 'yay, socks'."

conversation between my grandma and great aunt, while opening a nativity scene:
"it's the house."
"i think it's called a stable."
"guess who's in it."
"well, let's see, i wonder who...moses? samson?"

in reference to the stupidity of students:
charlie: "one of my students came up to me and said, 'when people have sex with farm animals, why are there no babies?' i followed with another question, 'where are you from?"

20 year old katherine, to 8 year old elijah, at the chinese restaurant:
"are you picking all the chicken out of the chicken and broccoli?"
"yes"
"you're THAT guy. you're the one. you're the same guy who picks all the M&Ms out of the gorp."


unfortunately, i look entirely too much like these people to ever deny being related to them.