end of an era

today i am going to my last classes...ever. this is such a weird feeling. i'm actually getting kind of nostalgic. why, i don't know, but i am. i think it's because suddenly 17 years of my life are going to be done, and nothing that i do from now on will be anything like it. never again will i have to stare at a clock, counting down the minutes until a teacher stops talking. i won't have to buy textbooks, read a syllabus, or write down homework assignments in a planner. i won't write any more papers, give any more presentations, listen to any more lectures. this should make me ecstatic. it's just such a huge change. going from high school to college wasn't that different. i was still just trying to stay awake during class, finish homework on time, make it to rehearsals, etc. going to classes is easy - i'm used to it. i know what i'm supposed to do, it's what i've always done. you go in, sit down, listen for an hour, write down everthing the professor says, and then go on to the next one. now i've got to figure out my life without someone handing me a schedule and telling me where to go. i guess it has a lot to do with the fact that i'm scared to grow up.