05 November 2005

strange profs

over the course of the past few years, i've developed the habit of writing down weird things my professors say in the margins of my notebooks. i was looking through some of them this week, and i have come to the conclusion that my professors are crazy.

"it didn't used to be a competition. in the 70s, we just threw the frisbee on the quad with the smell of pot in the background and the sound of the greatful dead blaring from somebody's dorm room window" ~ dr. gordon

"i wish there was a slippery rock gay men's chorus. i'd go up and ask them if they'd take a little straight guy. it'd be great because it would really piss off the dean." ~ dr. gordon

"calling it "a good divorce' is like saying 'a good case of syphillis'." ~ dr. campbell

"it's like saying 'cats can eat oatmeal, but my little boy one time had a skateboard'." ~ dr. campbell

but dr. kengor, hands down, wins the prize for saying wacky things in class:

"the next few lectures are very boring, so if you feel like skipping, that's fine...i'll probably skip myself."

"the government's like a drunken sailor...you don't let him guard the booze cabinet!"

"you want a dessert? take out some ice, squirt cantaloupe juice on it, and lick it."

"i was going to get myself arrested and thrown in cuban jail. then you guys could protest and act like typical left-wing college students."

"why can israel have nucs but sadaam can't? because israel's not nuts. nobody cares if they have a few bombs and everybody cares if a screwball does."

"yeah, me and bobby went into his dad's gun cabinet and got the shotgun shells, then took them out to the back porch and were beating them with a hammer...when you have kids, take your sons and just tie them up."

"baseball season is over and there's nothing on tv. i had to watch virginia tech trounce boston college. it really gets depressing when football season's over and then you're left with hockey and basketball...it's enough to make you slit your wrists."

"i'm not going into great detail on this, because i find it very boring."

"if you've got a citizenry who are miserable and on the verge of revolt, don't take their booze away from them - then they'll really be ticked."

"i read an article about a russian vodka drinking contest. the winner died."



do normal schools have professors like this?

1 comment:

slb said...

I love your professor quotes! I used to do that all the time. I posted a bunch from the English profs a while back on my blog, but I have even more from other professors. GCC profs (some of them) say the greatest things. :-)