Up the Down Staircase

also...

2011-05-31T22:57:00.002-04:00

there are way too many details involved in planning a wedding. right now the current concerns are florist, organist, suits, hotel rooms. i'm seriously starting to reconsider my decision not to go to vegas and get married by elvis.

new city

2011-05-31T22:56:00.000-04:00

i love living at the beach.

that is all.

gopher sex

2011-04-15T22:07:00.001-04:00

what happens when you mix four 20-something women and four bottles of cheap wine?

discussions about gopher sex.

schizophrenic weather

2011-04-11T17:25:00.000-04:00

this is one of the few things i dislike about living in virginia. march and april weather. i hate how it can be 40 degrees one day and then 80 degrees the next. it might rain, it might not, who knows? i tried to store some winter clothes and ended up having to drag them all back out because it had gotten cold again. on saturday we'd planned a trip to play putt-putt and froze the whole time.

but today is one of the 80 degree days, so there's not too much to complain about for the time being.

i particularly like the part about how "the dog started it"

2011-04-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

MASON, Ohio -- Police say an Ohio man accused of barking at a police dog has been charged with a misdemeanor.

A Mason police report says 25-year-old Ryan James Stephens, of Mason, was charged with teasing a police dog in the Cincinnati suburb.

Officer Bradley Walker wrote that he heard the dog barking uncontrollably while Walker was investigating a car crash at a pub early Sunday morning. The report says Stephens was making barking noises and hissing at the K9 dog that was inside the police car.

Walker reported that Stephens said "the dog started it" when asked why he was harassing the animal. The officer said Stephens appeared highly intoxicated.

back in the land of the living

2011-03-28T02:48:00.000-04:00

i survived ocs. it's taken me a good two weeks to begin to feel like a normal human being again. i got 7 weeks of working in a recruiting office before my next school, then it's off to the beach for more training. it's really going to be quite the hardship, this whole having to live at the beach from memorial day to labor day. such a hard life...

luke 2:8-14

2010-12-25T21:02:00.000-05:00

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

Merry Christmas.

favorite christmas book

2010-12-24T16:50:00.003-05:00

"and lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them..."
"shazaaammmm!"
"what?"
"with a vengeance in darkness, the mighty marvel!"
"gladys, i don't know what you're talking about."
"the mighty marvel in wonder comics."
"no, this is the angel of the Lord."
"out of nowhere, right? in the black night, right?"
"well, yes, in a way."
"shazaaammmm!"

[the best christmas pageant ever]

thoughts on OCS

2010-12-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

officer candidate school so far can be best summed up in the words of the immortal clark w. griswold:

"hallelujah, holy shit. where's the tylenol?"

the final countdown

2010-11-30T20:50:00.002-05:00

i leave for military training in exactly 2 1/2 days.

hoo boy.

happy election day

2010-11-02T12:31:00.001-04:00

my dad spent the morning giving his employees their year-to-date tax totals as an election day incentive to vote against liberals. awesome.

double double, toil and trouble

2010-10-31T13:26:00.001-04:00

went to a rock concert last night. saw james bond, a lumberjack, superman, and a giant chicken singing along to queen.

i love halloween.

and we wonder why he's still a bachelor?

2010-10-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

danny: "isn't being a groomsman kind of like being a pall bearer?"

new job

2010-09-15T12:29:00.000-04:00

i'm working for my dad again. i think this will be good preparation for the navy. i work with all men, i'm surrounded by machinery, everything is covered in a layer of dirt and grease, and belching is a prolific occurrence.

the perfect man

2010-08-17T12:35:00.001-04:00

i've figured out who he is.

the looks of henry cavill, the voice of josh turner, the brain of winston churchill, the politics of ronald reagan, and the personality of jim halpert.

now the trick is to find this elusive creature...

i have a problem

2010-08-04T17:13:00.001-04:00

me: "i have 90 history books from grad school and college...i need an intervention."
john: "you don't need an intervention. you need a card catalog."

i have seen my future and it is freezing

2010-07-13T13:11:00.000-04:00

me: "how cold does it get in newport in the winter?"
dad: "pretty cold. and you'll be stationed out on the Point."
mary: "oooooh. that sounds cold AND windy."

sigh...

did i miss the four horsemen?

2010-07-12T16:52:00.001-04:00

this morning i signed my mother up for facebook.

the world as i know it has ceased to exist.

beautiful things

2010-07-11T01:04:00.003-04:00

the world is full of beautiful things
butterfly wings, fairy tale kings
and each new day undoubtedly brings
still more beautiful things

the world abounds with many delights
magical sights, fanciful flights
and those who dream on beautiful nights
dream of beautiful things...

i've always found this song to be very haunting, yet at the same time it manages to ignite my imagination in ways few things do.

listening to it makes me see starry skies, hear wind, and feel magic.

take me out to the ball game

2010-07-09T02:29:00.001-04:00

tonight i went to the ballpark and had chicken tenders, french fries, beer, and funnel cake.

lots and lots of funnel cake.

i love baseball. any sport that centers this much around food has got to be good.

tonight was my second nationals game of the season, and it was stunningly less impressive than the first (which happened to be last night...yes, i went to see two major league baseball games in as many days...i love baseball). last night dunn hit three home runs, one of which was a triple, and they won 7 to 6 against the padres. awesome game and extremely entertaining. especially since my group included two british guys, one of whom was visiting from england and hadn't ever seen baseball before. he was fascinated with how laid back everything was. i guess compared to european premier league soccer, it is pretty chill. so the game was great. tonight however...they lost something like 7 to 1. sadly, the fluke winning streak (2 games) seems to be over and we're back to the nats that we all know and love.

one of these days this town is going to get a team that doesn't suck overall (redskins, nats, wizards) and doesn't choke in the playoffs (caps...blame it on the russians).

words fail me

2010-07-05T09:21:00.001-04:00

The Associated Press
Sunday, July 4, 2010; 1:08 AM

ISLIP TERRACE, N.Y. -- Police say a man lighting fireworks has blown off his arm at a party on New York's Long Island.

Suffolk County police say 36-year-old Eric Smith was using a 3-foot long metal tube to shoot mortars from the street near his Islip (EYE'-slip) Terrace home around 5:45 p.m. Saturday.

Police believe he leaned over the device to ignite it and didn't get out of the way before an explosive shot out of the launcher. His left arm was severed at the shoulder.

Smith was taken to Southside Hospital in serious condition while friends packed the lost limb in ice to try to save it. Police believe doctors will try to reattach his arm.

A hospital spokesman didn't immediately return a call.

In Congress, July 4, 1776

2010-07-04T09:43:00.001-04:00

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states...

We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

147 years

2010-07-02T00:44:00.003-04:00

the world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. it is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. it is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain - that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that the government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

[a. lincoln. 19 november 1863]

people today have no concept of all the sacrifice that has gone into keeping liberty the core value of this country. it's so sad to see it all just slipping away...

been dealing with the system a long time

2010-06-30T13:10:00.004-04:00

me: "last time i wasn't on the base access list, so today i'm not only bringing printed copies of the entire email chain between my recruiter and the access control officer AND my printed patient appointment log, but i have highlighted them both to emphasize the important information showing that they need to let me through that gate this morning."

meredith: "you are a bureaucratic rock star."

success

2010-06-29T13:08:00.000-04:00

20 full push-ups!

what's been amazing about this isn't this particular accomplishment. it's the fact that the second you (if you're a girl) mentions that you're trying to do push-ups, every male in your life will have advice on the best way to do them, train for them, do more of them, etc. they will come out of the woodwork to tell you how to do them better. it doesn't matter if they are a person who looks like the last time he did a push-up was for the presidential fitness test in the 5th grade. he's immediately a world expert. i'm getting emails, advice at bbq's, discussing it on hiking trips. my students are even sending me facebook messages about it, all with helpful hints.

don't get me wrong. i'm certainly not complaining. i just find it amusing (and, i'll admit it, pretty cute too). and some of the advice has been really helpful. the ironic thing is that the best advice has come from my father, who didn't attempt to fix my form, training methods, or exercise plan. he told me about the tricks that surface nukes (aka. the navy's geek brigade) use to survive push-up day. in his words, "i am an expert at passing physical fitness tests, without actually being physically fit." apparently you need to do as many as possible before you have to breathe. this method does wonders. and if you do them fast enough, they'll never notice (or care) that you're not actually going as far down as you're supposed to.

my father is a genius.

on an slightly related side note, tomorrow i get to spend the whole day at bethesda, trying to convince a whole group of navy doctors that my various genetic and childhood medical issues aren't going to keep me from being able to make power points.

get fit or die

2010-06-21T12:07:00.000-04:00

i've got about three weeks before i have to be able to do 20 push-ups. right now i'm at 10.

i'm going to do this if it kills me.

class trips

2010-06-10T20:46:00.002-04:00

you haven't really lived until you've spent two weeks at the beach with teenagers.

summer is almost here

2010-05-20T19:20:00.000-04:00

if i could sum up my hopes for and vision of my summer in one picture, this would be it.

and the waiting game begins

2010-05-19T19:26:00.000-04:00

supposedly the selection boards met on monday. i don't think i can make it another two weeks.

end scene

2010-05-09T07:28:00.001-04:00

and...done.

24 hours to freedom

2010-05-04T19:11:00.001-04:00

i'm sitting on the floor in the corner of my dining room next to the washing machine, hiding behind the table, wearing earplugs, and drinking tea by the gallon.

i'm going to get this paper finished tonight if it kills me.

nearing the end

2010-04-28T23:43:00.002-04:00

in ten days, i will have my life back. granted, over the course of those ten days, i have to:

1.) finish my movie project
2.) write the final report for my movie project
3.) finish my ridiculously complicated 25 page research paper
4.) prepare a presentation on the ridiculously complicated research paper
5.) get my AP kids to pass their exams
6.) finish planning prom
7.) survive prom

so it's not exactly the easiest ten days. but at the end of it, life will be beautiful.

also

2010-03-17T22:53:00.000-04:00

the horde of extremely drunk, very loud, tone deaf st. paddy's revelers outside my window are singing n*sync. awesome.

yet another thing to add to the list

2010-03-17T22:04:00.002-04:00

got the official word yesterday that my school is shutting down at the end of this school year. we just don't have enough students to get the money we need to keep paying our rent, and every year enrollment keeps dropping. that's the problem with small schools: the smaller you get, the harder it becomes to get more students because people are afraid the school will end up closing. which is exactly what happened. i'm not as upset as i thought i would be; i'm mainly just sad for my juniors. although we are going on their senior trip this year (meaning that i get to spend three weeks at the beach in june) and we're setting up a dual-enrollment program for the community college so they can still graduate from the same school.

so, i'm now job hunting. again. i can't put into words how much i hate this process, particularly when it involves dealing with the every-annoying usajobs website and the stupid hiring regulations of the federal government. specifically the fact that a computer screens your resume before an actual person sees it. sigh...

but i have one potential lead which may pan out into something really awesome. we shall see.

fleeting

2010-02-03T22:56:00.002-05:00

i've realized that i've started marking the passage of time by the increments between me telling the annoying message about updating my anti-virus software to remind me again in 15 days. every time i turn around, there that little box is, reminding me that my life is quickly zipping by. sigh...

just a man and his will to survive

2010-01-14T18:48:00.002-05:00

from: laura
to: meredith
date: thu, jan 14, 2010 at 3:07 p.m.

one of my juniors just did a presentation recreating the battle of chancellorsville using green army men and lego figures choreographed to "eye of the tiger".

it pretty much made my day.

from: meredith
to: laura
date: thu, jan 1, 2010 at 4:19 p.m.

this is one of those moments when you know you've made a difference in the life of a child.

back to school

2010-01-12T12:41:00.001-05:00

me: "my classroom has been invaded."
mike: "by aliens??"
me: "no, teenage boys."
mike: "i think that counts."

on the sixteenth day of christmas...

2009-12-16T20:40:00.000-05:00

i can't put into words how glad i am to be done with this semester of grad school.

or how much i love my christmas tree.

i wish i could...

2009-12-16T18:19:00.002-05:00

my status message: "now taking bets on how many times i hear, 'have you graded our tests yet?' today."

dave's response: "say, 'yes, and you failed. merry christmas!'"

7th period study hall. friday. 3:05 pm.

2009-12-04T15:13:00.003-05:00

matt launched a dry board eraser across the room with a rubber band and a yardstick which jake hit back baseball-style using a metal rod he took out of the filing cabinet, which then bounced off the overhead projector and hit ben (who was sleeping) in the head.

my life is turning into a sitcom.

and this is the AP class...

2009-11-22T23:33:00.003-05:00

me: "the oneida community failed, but their silver production continued and turned into the oneida company that still makes silverware."
brian: "i thought they made frozen french fries."
jimmy: "that's ore ida, moron."

the joys of apartment living, the trilogy

2009-11-15T00:05:00.001-05:00

really, upstairs neighbors?? really??!?

electric bass. amp. midnight.

sigh...

junior class officer meeting

2009-11-14T10:55:00.003-05:00

me: "since there aren't very many of you, do we want to have a prom this year?"
john: "why don't we just crash the prom at the public high school? there's more girls and we won't have to pay for it."

the joys of apartment living, part deux

2009-11-10T22:40:00.001-05:00

the upstairs neighbors have acquired a drum set.

awesome.

the joys of apartment living

2009-11-02T22:27:00.001-05:00

i'm pretty sure the concorde is trying to take off from the upstairs neighbor's kitchen...

quotes of the day...

2009-10-30T14:56:00.004-04:00

[while looking at a map of alaska] "wait!! there's ROADS up there!!?!"

sarah: "who is james dean?"
andy: "he's the guy that makes those little sausages."
me: "no, that's jimmy dean"

halloween

2009-10-30T14:12:00.002-04:00

there is a giant whoopie cushion, a gorilla, and a 6 foot m&m playing cards in my classroom.

i love halloween.

tales from friday afternoon study hall

2009-10-23T14:07:00.006-04:00

two of my seniors have finished their homework and are reading during study hall.

one is reading about the principles of astrophysics.
the other is reading "hop on pop".

and they are both reading sections out loud, simultaneously.

chris: "did you know that if all the matter in the universe were compressed to one infintesimal point, the density would be 1 x 10^72 tons per cubic inch?"
sydney: "mr. brown. mrs. brown. mr. brown is upside down. pup up. brown down. pup is down. where is brown?"

oh, kids...

really?

2009-10-22T20:14:00.001-04:00

a hamster in a ball showed up to my first period class today.

a hamster.

a brief analysis

2009-10-07T23:15:00.003-04:00

why i hate my job: i don't get to take sick days
why i dislike my job: kids who can't stop talking
why i like my job: kids who make me laugh
why i love my job: i can stay an extra 45 minutes after class, go to the grocery store after work, and still make it home by 5

why i'm glad i wasn't in charge of the boys during the high school reatreat...

2009-09-22T23:16:00.002-04:00

[in front of the boys' cabin after lights out]

me: "how are things going over here?"
male chaperone: "well...this side of the cabin is beating each other up and that side of the cabin is making each other drink out of the toilet. so yeah, we're doing great."

my life is a study in sleep deprivation

2009-09-14T00:29:00.002-04:00

real life is back in full swing and i'm starting to remember why i became a hermit last year.

my summer at the museum was amazing; i really didn't want to come back. but so far the school year is off to a fairly uneventful start. teaching two AP classes plus three other classes is a TON of work, but hasn't gotten overwhelming. it helps that i have everything done for my standard level u.s. history and u.s. government classes.

grad school is going way better this semester than in the past. i'm taking museum studies, which has been a fantastic class so far, and reconstruction, which isn't my favorite time period, but the professor is awesome. there isn't going to be a ridiculous amount of work - no major research paper involving thirty sources from five different college libraries!! - just a ridiculous amount of reading. no one should EVER be allowed to write a 700 page history monograph, particularly not about the reconstruction. but, most exciting thing of the semester, i figured out that the faculty parking lots right next to my building open to general permits at 6, meaning that i don't have to walk twenty minutes to get to my car. amazing!!

this week should be a whirlwind of craziness. i'm going on the high school retreat with my kids from wednesday - friday, and then to the retreat with my church from friday - sunday. and before that happens, i need to plan three days worth of lessons, read two books, and finish my AP u.s. history syllabus. sigh...adulthood is really overrated sometimes...

back to school...

2009-08-30T12:45:00.002-04:00

pete: "how was your summer?"
me: "good, but not long enough."
ben: "mine was! i'm ready to come back to school so i can bother people!!"

awesome...

carpe noctem

2009-07-08T01:55:00.001-04:00

how to tell if you stay up too late:

you live on the east coast and you see status messages informing you that your friends on the west coast are going to bed.

adulthood?

2009-06-19T10:55:00.002-04:00

brownie and a cookie for breakfast. super wicked awesome or mind-numbingly pathetic?

it's like driving a sherman tank

2009-06-17T00:34:00.002-04:00

i am in north carolina for the week. i was given the duty of bringing my grandma home after carol's graduation and staying with her until saturday, when i'll drive her to the beach. tomorrow i'm driving my grandfather to visit his sister. two hours away. on curvy mountain roads.

in a 1989 crown victoria.

and then on the way home, he wants to visit the cheese factory where you get to see how they make cheese.

my life is so bizarre.

in which we enter the world of resume exaggeration

2009-06-10T18:34:00.003-04:00

began my museum internship today. learned a few things.

checking bug traps = pest control monitoring
putting out humidity/temperature monitors = launching the climate control notification system

should be an interesting summer...

smart boy

2009-06-09T17:01:00.005-04:00

online conversation between my sister and her boyfriend after he spent the weekend with her at our parents' house:

cameron: "i was pondering on the way home that you have one of the most intimidating sets of parents on the face of the earth"
mary: "daddy's not too bad"
cameron: "until you realize he knows every possible way to kill you"
cameron: "and the means to do so"

and how to hide the body, too, bucko...

[fortunately, we all like cameron (despite the fact that our grandmother threatened to beat him up if he didn't let her buy him lunch), so the potential for his elimination is fairly slim.]

umm...

2009-06-08T17:27:00.000-04:00

my goal for the evening: grade spanish tests.
the problem with this: i don't speak spanish.

welcome to my life...

from my sister

2009-06-06T16:20:00.001-04:00

"i successfully finished high school. i went home. and i took a nap.
carpe diem."

me too, carol. me too.

hooray for not having to teach another class until september!!!

running

2009-05-27T20:12:00.002-04:00

i just ran a 5k.
outside.
nonstop.
on hills.
without walking.

in 29 minutes and 45 seconds.

which was the goal i was trying to reach before my race on sunday. yes!!

virtutis gloria merces

2009-05-25T09:18:00.003-04:00

war is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. the person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. [john stewart mill]

for love of country, they accepted death. [james a. garfield]

uncommon valor was a common virtue. [adm. chester w. nimitz]

you would think i taught remedial kindergarten, not 11th grade...

2009-05-06T18:25:00.003-04:00

"umm...miss p?"

"yes, andrew?"

"i swallowed a marble."

(and yes, he really does call me miss p.)

end of the semester

2009-05-05T16:59:00.001-04:00

i am now officially halfway done with my masters degree. i don't have to go back to grad school for four more months!! which means...

i have my life back!

u.s. government field trip to d.c.

2009-04-30T22:18:00.004-04:00

tour guide: "the statue on the capitol dome is named 'freedom'."
gabriel: "why is freedom an indian with a bird on her head?"

they really are cocky little buggers, aren't they?

2009-04-29T22:52:00.002-04:00

"do you want to go to prom with me??"
"no, tyler."
"why not? we're close to the same age."
"not close enough to be even remotely appropriate, tyler."

all my life philosophies come from comic strips

2009-04-21T23:11:00.002-04:00

new favorite comic strip quote, courtesy of meredith:

"and what manner of nitwittery is about to plague me on the morrow?!"

this pretty much sums up my entire attitude about my job...and the world in general, really.

it's going to be a long night...

2009-03-15T22:56:00.002-04:00

i am supposed to be spending my evening researching information for my military history conference paper about the marginalization of the southern theater of the revolutionary war within the dominant historical narrative.

so far, the only thing i've found out is that the busiest walmart in the world is located in rapid city, south dakota.

welcome to the procrastination center of the universe!

eighth grade moments

2009-03-12T19:19:00.002-04:00

me: "this is like being in charge of baboons."
jake: "hey, that's not a nice animal to compare me to."
chris: "it's not an animal, it's a tree."
jake: "that's bamboo, you idiot!! and it's not a tree!"

i love wikipedia

2009-03-09T18:37:00.000-04:00

there is a wikipedia article entitled "pointy hat". it chronicles the uses of pointy hats throughout human history.

hee.

everyone should spend time with 15 year olds

2009-03-04T22:35:00.001-05:00

me: "what was up with russia in world war one?"
caleb: "funny accents...and fuzzy hats."

i am a dork

2009-03-03T00:20:00.002-05:00

so after writing the title of the last post, i got curious and looked it up.

they are the 15th of march.

the ides, which the romans considered to be the day of the full moon, are the 15th of march, may, july, and october, and the 13th of every other month.

hooray wikipedia!

what are the ides of march anyway?

2009-03-03T00:01:00.003-05:00

"what are they doing at valley forge? most are freezing their asses off and complaining about the food, but they're also drilling. then there's the militia, who get together twice a year to drink. they're like a softball team." [my always entertaining military history professor]

oh, march. how we love your schizophrenic weather. a few weeks ago, the temperatures were in the 60s. today i didn't have to go to work because of the snow. (i don't have to go tomorrow either, but that's just because the parking lot is iced over and the county won't clear it. i've been doing the happy dance since i found out.)

life is going swimmingly, albeit extremely busily. classes are in full swing. i like both of them better than the ones i took last semester, although the people in my thursday night class take themselves way too seriously. my monday people (origins of the u.s. military) are a bunch of military guys, military brats, and military wives, so it's a fairly laid-back and snarky crowd, and i love them. i've realized that i actually like being in class once i'm there, i just hate going. leaving at 7am and not getting home until 10:30pm is a long, long day.

i'm trying to get my summer internship figured out. i was going to do one for 6 credits, but then i found out it's 360 hours of work, leaving me zero time for a break this summer. so i'm going to do the less stressful 180 hours and take another 3 hour class. i really don't want to take another class, but i'm going to need a break. plus, i actually want to be able to go to the beach.

work is good. the kids continue to be unintentionally hilarious. my classroom is still barely controlled chaos most of the time. but i actually prefer it that way. they make me nervous when they're quiet. i'm also teaching spanish III now. ironic, since i don't actually speak spanish anymore. they're doing a computer program, and my main function is to make sure they aren't checking their email or playing minesweeper. but it's just funny to say that i'm the spanish teacher.

i'm now going to be completely irresponsible by making some popcorn and starting the second half of "return of the king" at 12:15am.

happy birthday to me

2009-02-04T22:46:00.001-05:00

why is it that 25 seems way, way older than 24?

why i don't like teaching world history

2009-02-02T07:09:00.002-05:00

eirelady: it is impossible to make late 19th century russian industrialization interesting
eirelady: agree?
cptmannix: yes, because russian industrialization isn't interesting until the early 20th century when it involves stalin and death camps
cptmannix: don't tell me you're caught in that period of history post-reconstruction, pre world war i...
cptmannix: that period of history sucks

cold weather

2009-01-28T22:59:00.001-05:00

there are three people living in this apartment. there are 22 coats in our closet.

16 of them belong to me.

this should probably tell me something about my ability to acclimate to cold weather. why do i not live in bermuda?

news headline of the day

2009-01-14T19:48:00.003-05:00

courtesy of the BBC:

"Russia: Ukraine is blocking Europe's gas."

maybe this means i'm still in middle school, but that made me laugh out loud in the middle of 8th period study hall.

welcome back

2009-01-14T10:38:00.002-05:00

one of my juniors melted crayons into the radiator in my classroom.

not on. into.

i love my job, i love my job, i love my job, i love my job...

vacation

2008-12-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

i don't have to go back to work for 17 whole days!!!

this is a glorious, glorious feeling.

a new perspective

2008-12-18T01:08:00.003-05:00

the past few months i've felt myself slowly descending from adulthood into some weird state that i can't really describe. i used to cook on a regular basis. last week i ate brownies for dinner. i used to pack a normal lunch for myself everyday. at one point in november, my lunch bag contained microwave popcorn, a packet of instant oatmeal, and m&ms. i used to exercise. i haven't been to the gym since may. i used to go to bed at a normal hour. i haven't been to sleep before 2am in weeks. i used to keep my stuff in order. right now, you literally cannot see the floor of my bedroom. i used to be responsible. now i blow my work off all the time.

i was starting to feel like all the giant leaps into adulthood that i had made over the past two years were disappearing. i'm still making sure that my bills get paid on time and that the oil gets changed in the car, sure. but my whole attitude was a little off from what it has been. then, tonight, adiya shed some light on the situation,

"you're a student again. things always go downhill when you're a student."

and she's right. things changed when i started classes in june. and they changed in ways that haven't happened since i left grove city. i don't eat right, i don't sleep enough, and the thought of taking time out of my day to go running just makes me cringe. maybe now that i know the problem, i can slowly start to bring myself back into the world of responsible adulthood.

but i will always be nocturnal...

on the eighteenth day of christmas...

2008-12-18T00:58:00.002-05:00

...i realized that christmas is in one week.

and i'm not done shopping.

yikes.

DONE!

2008-12-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

i survived my first semester of grad school!!!

[insert happy dance here]

study hall

2008-12-15T21:37:00.001-05:00

you know it's going to be one of those days when you look up from your desk and have to make your sophomores put the filing cabinet back together...

...and to think, i've got friends with normal jobs.

paper of doom

2008-12-13T22:23:00.000-05:00

grad school is sucking away my will to live.

20 pages to go...

first graders + sweater vests = adorable

2008-12-11T23:16:00.003-05:00

tonight was the school christmas concert. i played piano interludes, which went way better than i thought it would. due to the age range involved (k-8th grade) the concert itself was a combination of cuteness and unintentional hilarity, with a side of way too long thrown in for good measure. for some reason, each of the six groups performed about 4 songs, plus nine solos. (i kept looking over at the poor 1st grade teacher, who seemed to be in shell-shock from trying to keep five 6 year old boys amused, quiet, and marginally still for an hour and a half.) it was pretty much your typical small school concert, complete with lots of christmas carols, first graders in sweater vests, parents with video cameras, reindeer antlers, a middle school concert band with a very subjective sense of timing and key signature, and a 6 year old who got so excited during the "stomping part" of the song that he missed the steps and fell off the stage.

my job may be time-consuming, but at least it's interesting...

only me

2008-12-09T22:06:00.004-05:00

i somehow managed to injure my shoulder while teaching U.S. history. not lifting anything. not carrying things. not even writing on the board. just sitting there teaching. at the beginning of class i was fine, by the end of class i could barely lift my arm above my shoulder.

my life is so strange.

on a happy note, i finished one of my grad classes today! all i have left is the monstrous paper and i'm done for the whole semester. that will be a lovely feeling. unfortunately, however, i realized this afternoon that interim grades are due tomorrow, and i haven't graded anything for three weeks. oh well. it'll all get done somehow.

i also learned that all it really takes to reduce my stress to a manageable level is animal crackers and guns'n'roses on the radio.

sixty-seven years

2008-12-07T20:40:00.005-05:00

while he is nowhere near being at the top of my list of favorite presidents (yes, i have a list), i do have to admit that the man knew how to give a speech.

Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan...

But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

[FDR, 8 december 1941]

man, i love world war ii.

(this post in lieu of a "happy pearl harbor day" message, which my sister informed me was a little morbid.)

on the fifth day of christmas...

2008-12-05T18:24:00.003-05:00

...i made traditional danish christmas tree ornaments and dressed up in a kilt for my 8th graders.

i always love a day where you can spend time making craft projects and justify it as part of the curriculum.

i also managed to convince one of the 8th grade boys to wear the kilt. it was priceless. we took yearbook pictures.

on the fourth day of christmas...

2008-12-04T01:03:00.003-05:00

...we have a christmas tree! go us.

- examples of darcy's ornaments: harp, french horn, white house christmas tree
- examples of laura's ornaments: tap dancing moose, anthropomorphic m&m in a santa hat, green aluminum pickle

surprised, anyone?

on the third day of christmas...

2008-12-03T18:19:00.003-05:00

...i finally gave detentions to the chronic offenders in 7th period study hall. they just pushed me a bit. too. far.

also, as to why i'm suddenly posting regularly again. the answer is easy: i am supposed to be working on either a) my huge project due tomorrow night, b) my 20 page paper due in 10 days, or c) lesson plans. and we all know how good i get at procrastinating right before something major is due.

on the second day of christmas...

2008-12-02T23:04:00.003-05:00

...one of the 70something matriarchs at my church declared that she is going to start praying that i will "find a man".

you know the type. efficient. no-nonsense. widowed. million grandchildren. makes her opinions clearly known at meetings. runs the kitchen. single-handedly cooks enough turkey to feed the entire congregation at the thanksgiving potluck. in the church every time the doors are open. when she prays, things happen.

one of those. she told me to "go ahead and start planning the wedding shower, because he's on his way".

heaven help me.

on the first day of christmas...

2008-12-02T00:57:00.003-05:00

...i got my car back.

my alternator decided that this past weekend be a GREAT time to stop working. (do you realize how hard it is to find an open, non-busy mechanic the saturday after thanksgiving at 2:00 in the afternoon?) considering the car is ten years old and has close to 170,000 miles on it, i should probably just be surprised that it hasn't outright fallen apart yet, but the whole situation was still rather annoying. especially since i found a mechanic, they figured out what was wrong, had the new part ready to go, and were going to be able to get it finished before closing on saturday, and they went to take out the old alternator annnnnnnddddd...the bracket that attaches the alternator to the engine snapped off. and couldn't be repaired. or a replacement found. until monday morning.

so today i had the privilege of forking over a ridiculously large amount of money to get my car back.

also, while on the subject of old things breaking, about a week ago my gcc computer finally decided to call it quits. after nearly 6 1/2 years. most everybody else got a new one right after graduating, but not me. i put up with that thing until it absolutely refused to go on living. fortunately most everything was backed up. and my new computer has wireless internet! (yes, i know that the rest of the world has had this for five years. it's still exciting.)

where's the WWF when you need them?

2008-11-04T17:35:00.004-05:00

i feel like i should be on some kind of endangered species list: blue whale...siberian tiger...giant panda...conservative in fairfax county...

on a funny note, while manning the carpool line this afternoon, i looked over to see a kindergartener shaking his head as hard as he could while shaking his little fist and saying, "obama will be a BAAADDDD president!!!!!!! bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!!!!!!"

8th grade Fun Fact of the Day

2008-10-20T22:44:00.001-04:00

if you ironed out the state of Colorado, it would be bigger than Texas.

things you don't see every day

2008-10-12T21:36:00.001-04:00

yesterday at a scottish festival, i saw a guy simultaneously play the bagpipes, smoke a cigarette, and drink a yuengling.

i was impressed.

fact check

2008-10-07T22:46:00.002-04:00

so out of morbid curiosity, i actually looked it up.

to be precise, my internal clock thinks i live in hong kong.

on moscow time

2008-09-30T01:55:00.003-04:00

last night i had a ton of work that was due first thing in the morning, and i couldn't stay awake for the life of me. ended up planning lessons during the classes when i was supposed to teach them.

tonight, i still have a ton of work to do, but it doesn't have to be done until noon tomorrow. yet, for some bizarre reason, my body has decided that right now, 2 o'clock in the morning, is a GREAT time to be wide awake and get work done. i'm actually accomplishing a lot, for the first time in several weeks.

i will never understand my internal clock. i believe it thinks i live in russia.

arrival

2008-09-28T01:21:00.004-04:00

my best friend from high school has been happily married for nearly five years and had her second child this morning. in comparison, i had a longer relationship with my fish than 2/3 of my boyfriends. should this worry me somewhat?

regardless: welcome, lorelei! congratulations mer, cameron, and sam!

greetings from the wonderful world of eighth grade

2008-09-26T21:50:00.002-04:00

connor: "i have a glass eye."
candace: "no you don't."
connor: "yes i do."
candace: "no you don't. it's moving."
connor: "yes i do. see. poke it. it's glass."
candace: "i don't want to poke your eye. it's not glass."
connor: "yes it is. seriously. poke it. it's glass."

{pause}

candace: *poke*
connor: "OW! OW! that hurt! i didn't think you'd really do it!"
me: *snort*

quotes of the week, courtesy of 4th period u.s. history

2008-09-24T20:53:00.005-04:00

zim: "what color pen do you want us to use for the test?"
me: "blue or black ink"
zim: "all i have is green."
me: "then why did you ask?"

gabe: "why do they call them ivy league colleges?"
me: "because they have ivy growing on the buildings."
gabe: "sam! my shed is ivy league!"

and my personal favorite, said while in the middle of a discussion of the salem witch trials, voodoo, satanism, modern day witchcraft, and sorcery in the bible (don't ask...discussions like this just sort of happen in 4th period u.s. history):

sam: "in the rastafarian religion, they believe that marijuana gives you spiritual powers and that you need to have lots of children to pass on your ideas."
*pause*
dan: "so basically it's a religion built around smoking weed and having lots of sex."
me: "pretty much. you can't convert"